1
00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:06,740
A fine romance with no kisses.

2
00:00:07,180 --> 00:00:13,839
A fine romance, my friends, it is. They
think we're like a

3
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,720
couple of hot tomatoes.

4
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:20,320
But we're as cold as yesterday's mashed
potato.

5
00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:28,259
A fine romance with no wrestling. A

6
00:00:28,260 --> 00:00:29,700
fine romance.

7
00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:36,809
With no nestlings We might as well play
bridge with our maiden arms Love

8
00:00:36,810 --> 00:00:41,030
hasn't got a charm This is a fine
romance

9
00:01:12,951 --> 00:01:14,939
Good morning.

10
00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:15,990
Good morning.

11
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:18,490
May I come in?

12
00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:20,590
Yes, of course.

13
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,050
Thank you.

14
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:35,160
May I sit down?

15
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:38,339
You're very polite all of a sudden. I'm
always polite.

16
00:01:38,340 --> 00:01:40,930
Last time we saw each other, you called
me a reptile.

17
00:01:40,931 --> 00:01:43,759
Yes, well, I'm not going to do that
anymore.

18
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,079
Thought of a new expression?

19
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:46,130
I mean row.

20
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,100
I don't think we should row anymore.

21
00:01:48,740 --> 00:01:52,660
We may not be... We don't have to be
enemies.

22
00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:56,060
Surely we can be civil. Of course we
can.

23
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,010
So, may I sit down?

24
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,020
Of course you may sit down. Thank you.

25
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,350
Not at all.

26
00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:05,880
Look, could we just settle for being non
-insulting?

27
00:02:06,340 --> 00:02:07,390
Less of a strain.

28
00:02:08,259 --> 00:02:09,340
Your iron's still on.

29
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,380
Very, very professional.

30
00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:17,750
I have ironed shirts for myself before
you.

31
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,550
Who?

32
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,220
Well, I'll be wearing a jacket.

33
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:23,550
Oh.

34
00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:25,000
There's no need to do that.

35
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,240
It won't take a minute.

36
00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:30,090
You didn't come round here to do the
ironing.

37
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:34,720
No. I decided I would sort out the
things in the flat. You know, his and

38
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,600
Well, there's no rush. I mean, if you're
happy living with Phil and Helen.

39
00:02:39,601 --> 00:02:40,879
They're lovely.

40
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,800
But their faces are getting very lined.

41
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,130
I know they are.

42
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,280
So, I've decided to give them back their
lives.

43
00:02:48,740 --> 00:02:50,060
I'm going to look for a flat.

44
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,520
You could move back in here.

45
00:02:55,521 --> 00:02:58,819
It's only two weeks since you split up
with Elaine.

46
00:02:58,820 --> 00:02:59,870
I know.

47
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,990
I mean, what kind of lady killer do you
think you've become?

48
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,740
Off with the old and on with the new.

49
00:03:06,741 --> 00:03:10,639
Or to put it more literally, off with
the new and back on with the old. No,

50
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:11,690
on, hold on.

51
00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:20,719
I didn't mean move back in here as a...
I meant move back in as

52
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:26,640
a... Housekeeper, Mrs Danvers. I didn't
ask you to iron the shirt.

53
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,980
No, I meant as a friend.

54
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:31,890
With one bed?

55
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:37,499
Well... No, I'm going to look at a flat
today, so I'd sooner just sort the

56
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:38,739
things out, if you don't mind.

57
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:39,940
But I've got to go to work.

58
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,000
I shan't steal anything.

59
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,750
I know that.

60
00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:45,310
Of course.

61
00:03:45,311 --> 00:03:48,319
If there's a room in the house you don't
want me to look into, I mean like the

62
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,279
bedroom... Well, why shouldn't I want
you to look into the bedroom? Well, with

63
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,420
this new image of yours.

64
00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:53,860
I haven't got a new image.

65
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:58,639
In any case, if you're so keen to get
things sorted out, you'll have to look

66
00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,690
into the bedroom.

67
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:00,970
Well, I won't pry.

68
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,570
I'm going to work now.

69
00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:11,310
How is work?

70
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,140
Oh, it's going very well, thank you.

71
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:14,940
It's just as well something is.

72
00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:21,860
Morning. Morning.

73
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,210
You're early.

74
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,590
Little Lana was bouncing about like a yo
-yo at six o 'clock.

75
00:04:26,591 --> 00:04:27,859
Was she?

76
00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:29,600
Yeah. Wait till you have one.

77
00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:36,590
What's the book?

78
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:37,950
Homework.

79
00:04:37,951 --> 00:04:41,129
Do you know there's more to this garden
than meets the eye?

80
00:04:41,130 --> 00:04:43,409
I've been telling my customers that for
years.

81
00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:47,070
For instance, I never realised there are
male plants and female plants.

82
00:04:47,430 --> 00:04:48,870
Oh, it's a very sexy business.

83
00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:51,730
Must be very frustrating.

84
00:04:52,230 --> 00:04:55,600
I mean, imagine you're a male plant and
you fancy this female plant.

85
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:59,540
I mean, what can you do about it with
your roots buried in six inches of soil?

86
00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:03,400
Morning, mate.

87
00:05:03,530 --> 00:05:04,580
Morning, Wilkins.

88
00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:05,720
Oh, Terry.

89
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:06,920
Yeah, Wil.

90
00:05:06,990 --> 00:05:09,400
Did you know there were male and female
plants?

91
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,130
Oh, yes, that's where the birds and bees
come in.

92
00:05:12,131 --> 00:05:16,879
You know, I never realised where that
expression actually came from before.

93
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,919
Now, you can see how your parents use it
as a way of explaining the facts of

94
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:20,970
life.

95
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,450
I think it's rather convoluted,
personally.

96
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:27,690
My father tried it on me. Hadn't the
faintest idea what he was talking about.

97
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:29,080
What did you tell your kids?

98
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,670
Oh, had a stiff drink. Tell them the
truth.

99
00:05:31,671 --> 00:05:33,199
Probably best.

100
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,879
Yeah, I think I'll do that with Alana
when she grows up.

101
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,560
Or dunk girls' arse their fathers.

102
00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:43,739
Ah, well, one of mine did. But to my
great relief, Jennifer... I hate

103
00:05:43,740 --> 00:05:47,020
to talk to you family men about work.

104
00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:48,310
Oh, sorry.

105
00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:49,470
Sorry.

106
00:05:49,471 --> 00:05:52,099
Terry, how's that job in Hascom Road
coming?

107
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,480
Oh, I should finish it today.

108
00:05:53,481 --> 00:05:56,479
I'd have finished it earlier if they'd
keep their boxer indoors.

109
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:57,279
Have a word.

110
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:57,979
Well, I did.

111
00:05:57,980 --> 00:06:00,390
Every time you talk to him, he jumps all
over you.

112
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,200
I mean the owners.

113
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:07,130
That's a good idea. I do have them
sometimes, you know. Well...

114
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,030
Go on, have a go then. All right.
Cheers.

115
00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:13,870
He's a good lad.

116
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,540
Oh, yes, yes, I know.

117
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:23,280
So, I have a letter here from a customer
who's just returned from abroad.

118
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,950
Seems very surprised to find his garden
suddenly overgrown.

119
00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:31,159
Probably told everything to stay as it
was and hope for the best. Have a crack

120
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,399
at it, will you? That's the address.

121
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,450
Only good.

122
00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:35,240
Oh. Something wrong?

123
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,320
In a manner of speaking, yes.

124
00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:43,599
This chap Maybury, before I was made
redundant, we were neighbours, and not

125
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,019
put too fine a point on it... You don't
want him to see the depths that you've

126
00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,380
sunk to by working for me.

127
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:52,220
Oh, I wouldn't put it quite like that.
You would.

128
00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:54,340
You'd have just used longer words.

129
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,730
You do believe in calling a spade a
spade, don't you? I'm a gardener.

130
00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:05,380
Sorry, I was being a bit precious,
wasn't I? Just a touch.

131
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,310
Well, damn it.

132
00:07:07,311 --> 00:07:10,219
I'd hardly be proud of having the job on
one hand and ashamed of what some

133
00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:12,499
people might think of it on the other.
Of course not.

134
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,659
Anyway, why be ashamed of having a job
that makes the world a slightly prettier

135
00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:20,940
place? You know, my school captain, he
wanted to be a barrister.

136
00:07:21,260 --> 00:07:26,000
If I met him today and he asked me what
I'd do, I'd tell him, with some pride.

137
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,320
Yes, you're quite right.

138
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,150
Did he become a barrister, by the way? I
don't think so.

139
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,610
Last time I heard from him, he was in
prison.

140
00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:56,540
Pull yourself together.

141
00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:18,720
I brought you back your door key.

142
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,120
You shouldn't have bothered.

143
00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:24,339
Should have left it above the door.
Well, I finished sorting out the things,

144
00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:27,239
as most of the things in the flat seemed
to be mine, I'd sooner it wasn't

145
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,290
burgled.

146
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:31,140
Ah, fancy some lunch?

147
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,640
Why? It's lunchtime.

148
00:08:35,179 --> 00:08:38,069
Well, I'd like to, Mike, only I've got
this flat to look at.

149
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:39,919
Oh, why don't I come with you? Why?

150
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,579
Why do you have to keep saying why all
the time?

151
00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:45,339
Why should you say why don't I come with
you? Well, I don't know.

152
00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:46,390
Come.

153
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,000
In any case, you need a man along.

154
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:49,840
Landlords can get quite, uh...

155
00:08:50,290 --> 00:08:51,670
Funny with a girl on her own?

156
00:08:52,510 --> 00:08:56,120
If he's old enough to think of me as a
girl, he'd be too feeble to get funny.

157
00:08:58,830 --> 00:08:59,950
You know what I mean.

158
00:08:59,951 --> 00:09:02,829
There's a bit of a knight -errant about
you.

159
00:09:02,830 --> 00:09:03,509
Oh, now, look.

160
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,560
It's nice.

161
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,140
I would like you to come along,
actually.

162
00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:08,350
Fine. If you don't mind.

163
00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:10,710
It was my idea. Oh, so it was.

164
00:09:12,430 --> 00:09:16,390
And if we've got any time, we can have
some lunch afterwards.

165
00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:17,800
My treat, then.

166
00:09:17,801 --> 00:09:18,689
I offered.

167
00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:19,740
Dutch.

168
00:09:20,270 --> 00:09:21,330
All right, then. Good.

169
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:25,520
It's reassuring to know we can still
decide things without any fuss, isn't

170
00:09:26,710 --> 00:09:27,970
Mike, could I have a word?

171
00:09:28,550 --> 00:09:29,600
I'm sorry.

172
00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:32,450
Miss Dalton, how nice to see you again.

173
00:09:33,210 --> 00:09:34,410
Terry said you were back.

174
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,190
Bad penny. Still enjoying the job?

175
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:37,490
Oh, yes. Yes, very much.

176
00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:39,830
Well, that is to say, I was.

177
00:09:40,430 --> 00:09:42,110
What do you mean? What do you mean?

178
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,570
Mike, I'm afraid I'm going to have to
resign.

179
00:09:44,810 --> 00:09:47,470
Why? Look, do you mind? Why?

180
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:52,199
Because I simply can't finish the job. I
can't stand him or his jibes any

181
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,980
longer. Whose? What jibes?

182
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,420
He's been standing over me all morning.

183
00:09:56,520 --> 00:10:00,519
He began by patronising me, then he
built up into what he considers a

184
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:05,899
thrust. Shafts of wit, like hardly
middle management, is it, old boy? And

185
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:08,730
you on an expense account, or did you
bring sandwiches?

186
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,400
Who is this man?

187
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,700
Chappie used to be Wilfred's neighbour.

188
00:10:12,701 --> 00:10:15,099
And you sent Wilfred to work in his
garden?

189
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:16,620
How screamingly sensitive.

190
00:10:16,621 --> 00:10:21,339
Well, I didn't know he was going to
carry on like that. You should have told

191
00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:24,359
Well, after you read me the riot hack
this morning, I didn't like to.

192
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,430
You've become a tyrant. I haven't become
anything of the sort.

193
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:32,739
Now, first of all, Wilfred, there's no
question of resigning. Just switch jobs

194
00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:33,639
with Terry.

195
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,990
I wouldn't do the job at all, blow him.
Now, look.

196
00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:40,610
The customer may not always be right,
but he's the bloke with the money.

197
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:42,240
I can see why business is booming.

198
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:44,960
Mike, I feel in honour bound to resign.

199
00:10:45,180 --> 00:10:47,100
Now, will you shut up about resigning?

200
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,340
Now, please, Wilfred.

201
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:56,679
When Terry gets back, just you switch
jobs with him and get on with it. All

202
00:10:56,680 --> 00:11:01,060
right? That's very kind of you. And if
anyone should call, I'll be back later.

203
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,399
We're going to have a look at a flat.

204
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,450
Oh?

205
00:11:04,451 --> 00:11:06,439
You're getting together again, then?

206
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,490
I am glad.

207
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,120
That's it. Number eight.

208
00:11:30,420 --> 00:11:31,470
Can I drive on?

209
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:32,830
No.

210
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:47,440
First impressions?

211
00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:51,430
No one in their right mind would stay
around long enough for a second one.

212
00:11:56,881 --> 00:11:58,769
Dumb, isn't it?

213
00:11:58,770 --> 00:12:02,560
Well, I admit it doesn't look much at
the moment, but empty places seldom do.

214
00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:08,430
I think I could make it very... very...
snug.

215
00:12:09,850 --> 00:12:12,740
I've seen dog kennels that look more
snug than this place.

216
00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:14,750
Well, the rent's very reasonable.

217
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:15,880
It would have to be.

218
00:12:15,881 --> 00:12:19,249
You haven't had one good word to say for
it, have you? Give me a year or two and

219
00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:20,690
I might think of one. Oh, funny.

220
00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:23,330
Well, I'm not being funny, believe me.

221
00:12:23,590 --> 00:12:27,389
I just don't want you to take this
rotten flat. I'll take what rotten flat

222
00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:28,440
want.

223
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,740
Oh. Hello again, Mr Wiggins.

224
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:40,360
Mrs Wiggins wondered if you'd... Well,
I'm still thinking about it.

225
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,880
Only I've got a cod on, you see.

226
00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:46,230
Sorry?

227
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:50,500
Not that the cod's a problem in itself,
no. It's the butter sauce.

228
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:55,740
You see, if it gets at all lumpy, Mrs
Wiggins gets very tense.

229
00:12:56,490 --> 00:13:01,310
And so I have to give it my undivided
attention from the start.

230
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:05,680
Well, I'll just be a couple more
minutes, Mr Wiggins.

231
00:13:06,430 --> 00:13:07,710
I'll lay the table.

232
00:13:12,490 --> 00:13:14,350
And he's like something out of Psycho.

233
00:13:16,910 --> 00:13:21,769
I don't believe there is a Mrs Wiggins.
But you can't seriously be considering

234
00:13:21,770 --> 00:13:23,490
this place. I have to.

235
00:13:27,359 --> 00:13:31,439
Look, I don't want you to feel that
you've been rushed into making a

236
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,680
Mrs Wiggins's cod.

237
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:39,719
So, if you would like to ring me later,
say tonight... Well, yes, that's very

238
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:43,580
fair. Well, I'll do that. I'll phone
this evening, Mr Wiggins.

239
00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:48,519
Would it be impertinent if I was to ask
you as to whether there are any

240
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,100
indications?

241
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,410
Well...

242
00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:57,310
I'd say my answer will almost certainly
be yes.

243
00:13:58,390 --> 00:13:59,440
Goody -ho.

244
00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:01,230
Almost certainly no.

245
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:03,140
Goody -ho.

246
00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:07,990
Has he rung? What? Has who rung? Hello,
Jerry.

247
00:14:08,970 --> 00:14:10,020
Oh, hello.

248
00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:13,560
I hear you and Mike are getting back
together again.

249
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:15,300
Well... Has who rung?

250
00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:17,210
That Mayberry bloke.

251
00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:20,260
Only I want you to listen to my side of
the story first.

252
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:24,020
Why should I have to listen to a side?
What's happened?

253
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,790
I threatened to wrap a shovel round his
neck.

254
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,480
You did what?

255
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:35,650
I threatened to wrap a shovel round his
neck.

256
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,679
I'd hardly got there before he started
on about Wilf. You can't go around

257
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,390
threatening to wrap shovels round
customers' necks.

258
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,300
You already have. Good for you, Terry.

259
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:47,639
What do you mean, good for you, Terry?
Well, this Mayberry bloke is obviously a

260
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:48,840
troublemaker. Right.

261
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,250
First thing he says.

262
00:14:51,860 --> 00:14:54,120
What, no Wilfred Robinson this
afternoon?

263
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:56,140
Having a light down, is he?

264
00:14:56,141 --> 00:14:59,699
Manual work tar him out, does it? You
could have asked him to stop.

265
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,650
Well, I did. By threatening to wrap a
shovel around his head.

266
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:03,730
I wish you had.

267
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:05,940
And I do wish you'd keep out of this.

268
00:15:05,941 --> 00:15:09,939
Oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting
something?

269
00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:11,140
I'm getting a roll of kin.

270
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,530
He threatened to hit Mayberry with a
shovel.

271
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:16,770
Did you really?

272
00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:17,990
Yeah.

273
00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:22,120
What's the matter with you?

274
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,260
You're all grinning like Cheshire cats.

275
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,260
Subway Landscape Garden.

276
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,560
Ah, Mr Mayberry.

277
00:15:34,540 --> 00:15:35,700
Yes, I just heard.

278
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,130
Yes, as a matter of fact, I was just on
my way around to see you.

279
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,980
Indeed, it was inexcusable.

280
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,380
You blame me for sending you what?

281
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,700
Just hold on a minute, will you?

282
00:16:03,470 --> 00:16:06,730
Mr. Mayberry, no, no, no, no. You listen
to me.

283
00:16:07,450 --> 00:16:12,010
I did not send you a broken -down
personnel manager and a violent yob.

284
00:16:13,830 --> 00:16:18,709
I sent you two decent, hard -working
people who are prepared to work for a

285
00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:20,820
living, and that's what they get paid
for.

286
00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:26,249
Not to be subjected to mindless sneers
from someone who has the effrontery to

287
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:31,769
feel superior, because presumably his
employers don't realise what a bunch has

288
00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:32,759
jumped up.

289
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,020
twit he really is.

290
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,620
Never swore once.

291
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:50,259
I still shouldn't have brought shovels
into it, though. My dad always said to

292
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:53,800
me, if you're thinking of hitting
someone, always count to ten first.

293
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,440
Then hit him.

294
00:16:55,441 --> 00:17:02,049
If it occurs to me, I know lots of
people round there, most of them with

295
00:17:02,050 --> 00:17:04,460
gardens, and, well, they're not all
mavericks.

296
00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:06,110
That's a good idea, Wilf.

297
00:17:06,410 --> 00:17:07,970
We'll drive round one Saturday.

298
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,150
Ah, yes, fine.

299
00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:11,770
Right, I'd better be off.

300
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:15,760
I like to play with Alana before she
goes to bed. Oh, I'd better be off too.

301
00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:17,210
Joan always worries about me.

302
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,510
Bye, Miss Dalton. Bye, Derek. Yes, bye.

303
00:17:19,710 --> 00:17:22,420
Bye, mate. I expect we'll be seeing more
of you now, eh?

304
00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:31,310
Family man.

305
00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:34,510
Yes.

306
00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:42,559
Well... Well... I suppose...

307
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,040
I could cook us egg and chips.

308
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:49,530
I'd like that.

309
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:04,539
leave the best bit of your meal till
last, don't you?

310
00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:05,590
Oh, yeah.

311
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,250
Best chip.

312
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,760
Best bit of egg. I've always done that.

313
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,520
I eat my best bit first.

314
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:18,980
Probably significant.

315
00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:21,700
Probably means something.

316
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:23,500
What do you think it means?

317
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:25,950
I haven't a clue.

318
00:18:29,531 --> 00:18:34,979
Probably something to do with
impetuosity and caution.

319
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:38,060
I mean, what was the last cautious thing
I did?

320
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,090
What was the last impetuous thing you
did?

321
00:18:42,140 --> 00:18:43,190
Oh, I don't know.

322
00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:45,620
Probably when I wrote to Hedy Lamarr.

323
00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:47,230
What was that?

324
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,530
1954.

325
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,660
I was in love with her, you see.

326
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,450
Did she write back?

327
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:56,940
No. Black Mark Hedy.

328
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:02,480
Probably just as well.

329
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,040
Couldn't have lived on my pocket money.

330
00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:10,230
I fell in love with Charles Lawton when
he played the hunchback of Notre Dame.

331
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,290
It's different.

332
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,280
It was that one sad eye.

333
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,560
Did you do anything impetuous?

334
00:19:23,561 --> 00:19:24,799
Oh, yes.

335
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,639
Found out where he was making his next
film, got a bus, went to the studios and

336
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,410
asked to see him. What happened? They
wouldn't let me in.

337
00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:32,730
It's all right, though.

338
00:19:32,731 --> 00:19:36,349
I never felt quite the same about him
after he started playing two -eyed parts

339
00:19:36,350 --> 00:19:37,400
again.

340
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,240
Don't take that flat.

341
00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:54,790
Got to phone him tonight.

342
00:19:56,090 --> 00:19:57,140
I know.

343
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:58,880
Say no.

344
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,659
The rents are reasonable.

345
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,470
He ought to pay you to live in a hobble
like that.

346
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:04,840
It was awful, wasn't it?

347
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:06,560
Even I wouldn't live there.

348
00:20:06,561 --> 00:20:11,099
Well, perhaps when I get my translation
work going again, pick up the threads

349
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,150
from Brussels.

350
00:20:12,151 --> 00:20:16,539
If it's none of my business, please tell
me so, but you must have made a lot of

351
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:19,010
money in Brussels. What happened to it?
I spent it.

352
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,660
I always spend money when I'm unhappy.

353
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,060
Why didn't you come back?

354
00:20:26,061 --> 00:20:27,659
I did?

355
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,710
Earlier.

356
00:20:28,711 --> 00:20:29,959
On your terms?

357
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,920
Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that.

358
00:20:32,220 --> 00:20:33,270
I would.

359
00:20:37,780 --> 00:20:38,830
Phone Wiggins.

360
00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:47,620
I wonder if his butter sauce was up to
scratch.

361
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:52,220
I hope so, for his sake.

362
00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:54,910
Ah, Mr Wiggins.

363
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:56,530
Laura Dalton.

364
00:20:57,140 --> 00:21:01,000
Yes. Look, I'm sorry, Mr Wiggins, but
I've decided not to take the flat.

365
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:05,340
I'm very sorry. I hope it won't
inconven... Sorry?

366
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:07,500
Oh, yes, of course. Yes.

367
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:08,990
Goodbye, Mr Wiggins.

368
00:21:11,940 --> 00:21:13,620
He's in the middle of a red custard.

369
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:21,180
Well, that's that.

370
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:23,370
Good.

371
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,220
Look, I've been thinking.

372
00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:29,450
You oughtn't to be looking for a flat at
all.

373
00:21:30,710 --> 00:21:32,150
This is where you should live.

374
00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:35,500
Oh, Mike.

375
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:38,880
I don't know.

376
00:21:39,290 --> 00:21:40,490
I should move out.

377
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:44,820
What?

378
00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:50,309
Well, most of the things in it are
yours. You certainly turned it into a

379
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:54,250
didn't. You're confusing me. I don't
mean to. Oh, what a mess.

380
00:21:54,790 --> 00:21:57,080
You're not a mess. No, I didn't mean me.
I mean us.

381
00:21:57,730 --> 00:22:00,270
I suppose we always have been, really.

382
00:22:01,230 --> 00:22:04,250
Well... Well, look, I'll have to think
about it.

383
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:08,340
I must go. Phil and Helen will wonder
what's happened to me.

384
00:22:09,170 --> 00:22:10,220
Don't go tonight.

385
00:22:12,490 --> 00:22:13,540
What?

386
00:22:13,930 --> 00:22:14,980
Stay.

387
00:22:16,810 --> 00:22:18,250
Are you trying to seduce me?

388
00:22:21,010 --> 00:22:22,060
Yes.

389
00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:26,170
I mean, we're such a mess.

390
00:22:26,390 --> 00:22:27,440
What's happening?

391
00:22:27,441 --> 00:22:31,309
I'm moving in, you're moving out,
sometimes, when, and in the meantime,

392
00:22:31,310 --> 00:22:32,990
trying to seduce me all over again.

393
00:22:33,030 --> 00:22:34,080
Yes.

394
00:22:34,081 --> 00:22:37,209
Well, do try and put some words
together. You were eloquent enough when

395
00:22:37,210 --> 00:22:40,089
telling Mabry what to do with his job on
the phone. Oh, I was different. I

396
00:22:40,090 --> 00:22:41,140
didn't like him.

397
00:22:43,330 --> 00:22:45,680
Well, I wish I'd never thought of egg
and chips.

398
00:22:46,570 --> 00:22:49,460
I thought you were trying to seduce me.
Well, perhaps I was.

399
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:08,770
I missed you.

400
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,500
Yes, I missed you too.

401
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,000
I better phone Phil and Helen.

402
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,010
You did the ironing.

403
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:51,210
That was before I thought of egg and
chips.

404
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,130
Hello, Phil?

405
00:23:55,620 --> 00:23:56,670
Um, it's Laura.

406
00:23:56,671 --> 00:24:00,159
Look, there's nothing to worry about,
but I'm going to stay out all night with

407
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,210
friend.

408
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,220
Yes, of course it's Mike.

409
00:24:07,340 --> 00:24:08,390
He's laughing.

410
00:24:10,140 --> 00:24:11,340
Will you stop laughing?

411
00:24:41,420 --> 00:24:47,339
A fine romance with no wrestling

412
00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:54,319
A fine romance with no nestling We two
are just as

413
00:24:54,320 --> 00:25:01,299
prickly as cactus plants Love hasn't got
a charm It is a fine

414
00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:02,349
romance

415
00:25:02,350 --> 00:25:06,900
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